Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Obligatory Leopard Print

For those of you who have pets, you will understand what I am talking about. You’re standing in front of a display of pet beds at the pet store, and the fabric choices are horrendous or you are contemplating some diverting object which is insanely lumpy and dopy looking.  This doesn’t bother your four footed friend, he or she takes to the paw print bed like a fish to water and is instantly intrigued by the feathered wobbly snake with the zebra pattern.  It’s as if they know, once you bring the object home, it’s for them.  It’s perfectly marketed.  I sometimes wonder how the product people know this and how they test their products and with what assortment of animal testers, perhaps “Boomer,” “Socrates” and “Little Timmie.”  I honestly believe my cat, Brunhilde, would take just as easily to a bed made of warm fleece fabric which is not leopard print, but say, a demure lilac print, think Liberty Print or a wine colored William Morris concoction that would blend in with my living room furnishings, as she takes to paw print.  Maybe Liberty can develop a lovely pet bed, warm and state of the art fabrics that is also a wash or wipe down item for those unhappy cleansing of digestive track in bed moments.  Your snoozing pets would become honest, incorporated furnishings. Your friends would walk into your home and think, “What a lovely décor, the peach and sage on beige theme is soft and comforting, and the orange tabby looks just perfect on his tame tangerine, gold and black twisted piped laminated cat bedding on the radiator.”  By the way Liberty print dog beds do exist, but they don't look liquid-proof.


At times bicycle racks make me feel like a domesticated pet.  It’s as if the bike rack says, “Here I am, useful and perfect to hold your bicycle.  You have no choice, I am it.  Apply me immediately.” Bicycle racks are generally very unattractive and not very practical, I mean really; it’s hard to scoot you and your bike under a two tiered rack, and I am short, and it’s impossible to set the bike on the upper rack, because I am too short.  Then there are the ones that barely have any space to squeeze in a set your bike in the row, even if you didn’t have a basket on the front. I was contemplating bike racks again while in the metro this week. In the metro hooks are available to stabilize a bike.  Why can’t people just set up these hooks in public places instead of the dysfunctional bike racks?  A lovely statue of something, abstract or dictator, with hooks in diverse spots for bikes. An art hub for bikes.

We are all conditioned to accept certain realities, but what if reality is altered?  Last month I tried to sign in for a social event in Amsterdam, and found out I was too late. I was informed of the next opportunity by the organization. Normally I would not have been very taken with the idea, and, to be honest, it was the location of the event that caught my attention. I had been in the building once on Open Monument Day and few possibilities existed that would welcome me back through the front doors.  To whit, the building is just a block or two away from me and I pass it often. I inspected the invitation, a bit pricey, but it included dinner and a speech.  I decided, come hell or high water, I wanted to dine in the illustrious building and be a fly on the wall. I found myself seated at a table with a high level corporate in charge.  On the paper explaining who was present I was listed as “soprano” and therefore made up the artistic section of the entire event. I was the odd woman out, the event was for female business professionals, and I was not entirely pleased to be listed as “soprano” but never mind, it was an ice-breaker type of introduction to all the other activities I undertake.

I liked the corporate woman in charge of leading our table, she was the hardnosed and driven type who didn’t desire begging artists next to her at a dining table. I was sitting next to her (note: I had purposely loitered across the room waiting for my table to fill and took the last seat) and when she talked to me her eyelids fluttered nervously. I surreptitiously took over her job of leading the table discussion, just to make her relax a little.  I enjoy the corporate world, I work part time in it, and I find it a comfortable fit. Who would have known?  After all I was raised in, and for the most part of my life rotated around a world very far from global or multinational concerns.  A week later, after mulling it over, I made a decision to join this league of women, perhaps I am warming up to the high necked leopard print that comes with the territory.

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